This class began with a poetry unit, which is something that I dreaded somewhat because I tend to not enjoy poetry as much as prose fiction, and neither did I think that I had any good poetry skills. For a couple of the poems I submitted I certainly lacked inspiration and had to submit them quickly because I had fallen behind on the deadline. For instance, “Misadventure” and “Fireworks” had essentially the same premise, of someone climbing on a fire escape and looking at the cityscape below. I also used a lot of lines that looking back are pretty cliché and uninspired, such as “Running like the wind,” “Heart beats in my chest,” and “I breath in the winter night,” and on top of that I used them similarly between the two poems. In this way, some of my poetry did not meet the Course Learning Objective of experimenting with narrative techniques very well, and I wish that I had taken the opportunity to use the writing process by drafting, editing, and revising to achieve my best work.

However, I am very proud of my poem “Theme for English 220.” Its title was inspired by Langston Hughes’ “Theme for English B,” which was a response to his teacher’s prompt to write something true. Reading poetry describing such a similar class so many centuries ago was definitely eye opening, and represented the goal of selecting readings from multicultural texts. This was the same response which Prof. Hamlet gave us, and when we began writing these poems in class I was out of ideas – what can I write about myself that is worth writing, anyway? But then it hit me: I could write about the reason I decided to take creative writing, a reason that ties to my relationship with the most important person in my life, my younger brother. I described how when we were much younger, he would concoct elaborate “fantasies” that lasted hours – usually stories with a large cast of characters and loosely based on something in real life, such as our stuffed animals or a video game we liked a lot. Even though I loved him a lot, the truth is that I never had his same imagination or limitless creative energy, and being constantly asked “so what happens next?” was mentally draining for me. He recognized that, but still couldn’t help it because when you’re that young your purpose in life is to have fun at all costs. So I would unenthusiastically participate, hoping that in a year or two he would grow out of the phase. But now, many years after he already did, I realized how stupid it is that I say I want to be a creative writer and yet given my greatest opportunity to tell stories I treated it like a chore. So even though the poem’s final lines, “So I whisper to the mirror with tears in my eye: / ‘The teller of stories’ – yes, that is I,” are not describing a true event, they are true to representing my greatest fear as a writer: that I have already lost my imagination.

The process of writing this poem was greatly helped by feedback from my peers. After sharing in class Kevin told me he really liked the poem and felt that it came “from the heart,” which was definitely true. This gave me renewed motivation to revise the poem, trying to refine exactly what I wanted to say. For example, in my first draft I used the line, “He’d draw and draw from the well of my imagination / He would draw and draw until it was dry.” This captured the essence of what I wanted to say, that my imagination felt like a finite resource that was drained by our fantasies. But I didn’t like the excessive repetition, so I changed it to “so he’d draw and draw from my imagination’s well, hoping that somehow his thirst I could quell.” Feeling like I achieved a great product with this poem contributed to the Course Learning Objective of growing confidence as a writer. Overall, I am happy for my renewed interest in poetry as it added to my appreciation of different genres.

Ironically, despite writing short stories being the reason I wanted to take this class, I had a lot of other work to catch up on at the time of the short story unit, and I did not turn in anything close to my best work. Maybe I should have felt comfortable basing my writing style more closely on other short story authors’ to have more guidance for structuring the plot. The truth is that I do not think I curated unique anthologies with texts that best appeal to my literary preferences, as although we did read many other texts in class I did not think about how I could be inspired by my own favorite books , poems, and essays. However, I did succeed in analyzing and giving constructive feedback on literary works of my peers by recognizing and practicing a critical vocabulary of creative writing. I definitely enjoyed their stories, but felt that there were some tweaks that could be made, and I needed to convey that I did not mean to be overcritical, but rather wanted to see the stories live up to their full potential. For example, after reading Alyssa DiTota’s “Chance” I told her that Lilly’s character was not nearly as developed as Jonathan’s and this made it hard for the reader to be fully invested in the romance. I recall her improving this aspect by the time of the oral presentation, which was very cool to see.

Finally, the unit for which I think I am most proud of my work, and that of my classmates, was the personal essay unit. It was very emotional hearing all the very personal stories shared, especially for a class that I had always thought was pretty shy. I felt like through my personal essay about my experience walking with Moishe I was able to fully compose and develop writing from prompt to publication and end with something I could take pride in. Once again, it would have been impossible to do this without the feedback of peers, which let me know which details were more or less necessary to keep in the essay.

Overall, I have been very happy with all the practice I have gotten writing in this class, and taking this opportunity to assess writing development through regular self-assessment and reflection, I think the single most important lesson is that the potential of a written piece is never limited by its first draft. I am very grateful for that reading we had on “Shitty First Drafts” as it truly encapsulates that need to overcome the fear of writing something terrible on the first attempt. Looking back, the times I have felt most “flow” while writing has always been in the revision process, rather than writing the first draft. I think this is great because it motivates me to overcome that initial hurdle so that I can get into the groove of perfecting the work. Being in a community of writers that all enjoy this part of the process, as difficult as it is, and can give good feedback to help each other, has been very rewarding.